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So it’s Christmas time and I’m back in Manchester, getting festive and gorging on cheese and pate. Despite enjoying the refuge of my mother’s house, in which I can hide away from the damp of my London flat and the looming doom of my bank account, I decide to get out into the world and catch up with a mate. The mate is my boy Coos and the world I’m heading to is the middle class microcosm of West Didsbury. We sip down a few beers at The Woodstock, including the always reliable Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, before heading back to Coos’ flat.

Enroute, I digress into a corner shop I’ve not visited before. My strange imposition comes to light again and I MUST find something new and exciting in this place. There’s no exciting booze,  nothing in the way of new chocolate or sweets, but a savoury snack does catch my eye. It seems Walker’s have done some Sensations nuts I’ve yet to hit, but their flavours are boring. I’m losing all hope and heading for the safety of Mini Cheddars when I see some poppadoms, my all-time favourite crunchy snack. It’s not until I get them back to the flat do I find out that these things will change how I look at snacks.

 

We settle in and have a beer before tearing into these mystery snacks. Initial impression: great, they taste of salt and dirty oil, both delicious. These things do not, however, taste of the green chilli they advertise. I’m disappointed because I want that heat and fruit flavour in my mouth. Regardless, things are all good due to the addition of mango chutney, conveniently provided in sealed tub in the bag, that glistened as I peered in, like Charlie’s golden ticket. On a related note,  I thought that Salt ‘n’ Shake were fucking amazing when I was a kid, which is retarded because they’re essentially labour intensive salted crisps.

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I’m not sure if Salt ‘n’ Shake are still going but I’m very surprised that this kind of thing is still allowed to go on. I’m pretty sure they don’t put toys in cereal anymore because they’re scared some dickhead will choke on a Snap, Crackle or Pop pencil-topper. Now, I know pencil-toppers are a completely redundant ‘toy’ but I still like the idea of free shit in my cereal. Away from this long-held gripe, let us celebrate this invention, a beautiful discovery that has made my day.

This munch is paired with a zoot, a shared bottle of Odell 5 Barrel Pale Ale and an attempt to complete Streets of Rage on Mega Drive.

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Keep an eye out people, the future is here and we’re living it.

Words By Craig Ballinger

Zoots By Coos

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